In his talk, Ken Robinson says "schools kill creativity." Write a well organized paragraph= (about 100 words) with a topic sentence, well-linked ideas, and a concluding remark, and careful citations when you refer to his ideas= where you discuss whether this is really the case/ where you  either support or debunk his ideas. You should add your paragraph as a comment to this blog post by 24:00 on Sunday, 17th February. You can find the talk in a better version with better captions and transcript on TED.
 


Comments

R.Kutay Elmacı 21102050 section-70
02/14/2013 10:09am

For some people education kills creativty but this is not the case because there is always chance for tallented people to show theirselves in the system of education.Ken Robinson argues that “every education system in the earth has the same hierarchy of subject .[...]At the top are mathematics and languages,the the humanities, and the bottom are the arts.” Creativty is not just about arts, people can be creative in the maths, science or other subjects but, of course, art is one of them.There are lots of musician, artists and every one is rised from the current system.If education kills the creativty we couldnot rise these artists.In addtion to that,in the schools giving more importance to arts will be huge problem for who do not have a tallent or ability to art and most of people do not.For finding a few tallented people we cannot change all the system.In conclusion, education do not kill creativity and we can undrestand it from biggest evidece which show us all artist around us.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 1:53am

themselves== not theirselves
education system == not the system od education
raised == not rised
could not have raised== not couldn't rise
a problem for those who== not "for who"
avoid using personal pronouns like I / we / you as much as you can
Organization is good, but your argument is not convincing enough.

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Damla ŞEMSETTİNOĞLU Sec-57
02/14/2013 11:51am

Schools are institutions for learning. Generally, teachers or the education systems are forced to children to memorize sciences, math or etc. rather than helping them to find themselves. While the system is doing that, creativity of students is disappearing step by step. When Ken Robinson speech is considered, he has many good points to prove the idea of killing the creativity. Firstly, as he said, system has been just focusing on heads. What people do about art or who has which talent is not important anymore. Diplomas and degrees are getting most important things in life. However, it is not only the system’s fault; it is also parent’s mistakes not seeing children’s talents. Parents want their children to be successful and to have a good life in the future but they think that the only way to do that is learning academic subjects for work or gaining academic skills. For instance, Gillian Lynne is one of the good examples should be given. If the therapist would not have realized her talent, she would not be happy and also prosperous person in life. Briefly, schools kill creativity and to be successful in life, people should try to realize their talents and do not allow the schools to kill their creativity.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 1:58am

Schools are institutions for learning. Generally, teachers or the education systems FORCE children to memorize science, math or etc==NOT APPROPRIATE rather than helping them to find WHAT? themselves. While the system is doing that, creativity of students is disappearing step by step. When Ken Robinson speech is considered, he has many good points to prove the idea of killing the creativity. Firstly, as he said, THE system has been just focusing on heads. What people do about art or who has which talent is not important anymore. Diplomas and degrees are getting most important things in life. However, it is not only the system’s fault; it is also parent’s mistakes not seeing children’s talents. Parents want their children to be successful and to have a good life in the future but they think that the only way to do that is learning academic subjects for work or gaining academic skills. THE EXAMPLE IS NOT VERY WELL LINKED/ RELEVANCE IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH For instance, Gillian Lynne is one of the good examples should be given. If the therapist HAD not realized her talent, she would not be happy and also prosperous person in life. Briefly, schools kill creativity and to be successful in life, people should try to realize their talents and do not allow the schools to kill their creativity.

MOSTLY WELL-ORGANIZED/ AND CONVINCING== except for the example

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Z. Saygın Doğu sec-57
02/15/2013 4:12am

Creativity is a talent which everybody have in different forms. Most societies wouldn't respect creativity just because they think it is not worthwile. Taughts are shaped with the help of the education so current education system kills the respect over creativity. Every parent's priority for their child is to get higher grades at scholl. At the scholls there is a "hieracy" of disciplines like Robinson mentioned. ( "Do Scholls Kill Creativity?" ) Therefore, the priority of parents want their children to be succesful at maths or science. However, maths, humanities and arts are totally distinct subjects and they require different kinds of creativity to be successful. Some of the students may have the required creativity, but others may have the creativity for music and can't be succesful in maths. When a students fail in maths, it is considered as the student's fault. Well in some sense it is his fault, but that student doesn't need to be succesful in maths, that should be the point in education. However it is not like this in today's system. Afterall most of the students learn not to be creative in his way, and be the person teachers want them to be. The remaining ones who fail to obey at scholl, become artists.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 2:15am

SCHOOLS KILL CREATIVITY (topic sentence like this!). Creativity is a talent which everybody HAS in different forms. Most societies DO NOT respect creativity just because they think it is not worthwile. Taughts are shaped with the help of the education so current education system kills the respect over creativity. Every parent's priority for their child is to get higher grades at scholl. At SCHOOLS there is a "hieracy" of disciplines like Robinson mentioned IN "Do Scholls Kill Creativity?" Therefore, parents want their children to be succesful at maths or science. However, maths, humanities and arts are totally distinct subjects and they require different kinds of creativity to be successful. Some of the students may have the required creativity, but others may have the creativity for music and CANNOT be succesful in maths. When a students failS in maths, it is considered as the student's fault. Well in some sense it is his fault, but that student DOES NOT need to be succesful in maths, should be the point in education. However, it is not like this in today's system. After all most of the students learn not to be creative in this way, and be the person teachers want them to be. The remaining ones who fail to obey at scholl, become artists. NEED A CONCLUSION

BEGIN YOUR PARAGRAPHS WITH A TOPIC SENTENCE == THIS WILL HELP YOU AND YOUR READER TO DETERMINE THE FOCUS FOR THAT PARG. == IN YOUR PARAGRAPH SINCE THE FOCUS IS NOT WELL SET AND SINCE AT THE END, YOU LEAVE WITHOUT CONCLUSION, THE IDEAS LOSE THEIR STRENGTH== AS YOUR READER I WANT TO ASK "so what?"

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Anıl AFŞAR
02/15/2013 10:37am

Creativity is as an important issue as an education. Sir Ken Robinson gave an remarkable talk at TED in 2006 about developing children’s natural capacity for creative actions. He give some examplesof how pupils are not afraid of taking chances even if they are wrong.In the talk he says "if you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never be able to come up with anything original.Moreover, "Taughts are embodied with the education and education is the necessiest thing for creativity..Our education system enable us to develop ourselves with the help of art. I dont agree with this idea. Creativity can not be measured by the silly lessons like art.In each school there are some basic and main lessons like math, physic,biology and art. However, there is not any hobby lessons. Government should embody the purpose of education. Taking a hobby lesson may be beneficial for each student.To shape up, although today's school education system prohibits students' rights about the creativity, students should come out against the government's wrong system.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 5:06am

This prg sounds more like a response. You do not possess the idea. YOu had better start with a topic sentence where you raise your claim, where you set your purpose/focus for that prg. Like " Schools really kill creativity." The other problem is the informal language and too much personification== try to avoid using 1st and 2nd person pronouns in your writing// also the words like "silly" are not proper in academic writing.

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Onur BAŞOL-Sec 70
02/15/2013 12:51pm

There is a controversial correlation between creativity and formal education. In that point, Ken Robinson asserts that schools kill creativity in his TED Talks speech("Do Schools Kill Creativity"). It is obvious that the education system force all students to become ordinary and indistinguishable persons for the sake of being successful. The system has one single assessment criteria, the curriculum is constant and the only thing cared is result. Therefore it is inevitable that creavity is being discouraceged; however, not only education but also society, families and governments play an important role in this issue. In conclusion, even if the relation between school and creativy is not a 'murder', education 'wounds' creativy severely.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 5:10am

Not very convincing. You had better start with a claim/ set purpose/focus for the prg. Support your ideas with reference to the source. Be careful with spelling. Also note that there is no need for parantheses when you cite the title of the talk, leave it withing the sentence.

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Çiğdem Göközkut
02/15/2013 12:53pm

Creativity is an one of the most important talent for each individual and schools are also considered as main education institution. It is expected that schools promote and enrich creativity rationally. In the reality , however, the education system which almost all nations have destroy creativity and reveal similar people. Generally educational systems base on memorization and impose a hierarchy amongst courses, which appears an opinion that same courses are much more important such as maths or science than the others and they are also a measure of intelligence. This approach both ignores the multiple intelligence and draw a line on being different. As Ken Robinson has mentioned, education system just forces being monotype and creates similar individual by disappearing their personal interest and skills for the reason of getting a good job and making huge many. Yet, end of the educational processing when those monotype people apply a jop, the employers desire to them being different to getting jobs. Because of the wrong system and assumptions, students not only lose their time but also lose their personal talent , even maybe, unique characteristics. The education system has just created, creates a vicious circle and also would maintain to create it if precautions were taken.

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Gamze Oncul
02/20/2013 5:16am

Well organized// convincing enough+ need a better concluding remark=== but you have got problems with word choice== such as "reveal, disappearing" and some problems with grammatical structures such as: "employers desire to them being" "they are also a measure of intelligence" "skills for the reason of"

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Ecenur Güvendik 21100773 Section-70
02/16/2013 3:26am

Education is a combination of a teaching methods but teachers use these methods by killing students creative abilities in most country’s education system.Students rule themselves to ‘not to do mistake’.This makes them feeling under pressure than they can say only the things that they were sure it is true and they make the things only their teachers said to them.Ken Robinson says ‘Being wrong is not the same thing as being creative.’ (2006) He is also right.Teachers should warn students about their faults but not scare them.In my country’s education system we tested with hard and person-limited education.Due to this I can surelly said that "schools kill creativity" in my country.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 1:27am

you should say "make a mistake"
Your first sentence, the topic sentence should tell the reader what your claim is and how you will possibly support this claim== the answer to the question. The argument is not well developed or supported. The citation is not well integrated= relevance is not clear// not enough comment or analysis.

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Beliz BİNGÖL Sec-41
02/16/2013 4:07am

There are lots of different inner and outer facts that composes the personality of human. Religion and culture are an example for those which are outer. Without these outside facts there is an inner one which plays an important role to constitute the human-self the creativity. Unfortunately the current education system in the world does not have a function to improve the creativity of children. Creativity thought as same as being wrong and not normal. Ken Robinson states that " if you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original and by the time they get to be adults, most kids have lost that capacity (" Do Schools Kill Creativity?"). I am strongly agreee with his argument that schools kill the creativity. In schools students forced to be robots who only do well in maths language and science and nothing else. Art loses its value next to the analytic. A child who dances or paints instead of dealing with hard math problems perceived as anormal. As a result in order to become normal the creativity of child killed by the education system.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 1:39am

Unfortunately the current education system in the world does not have a function to improve the creativity of children.== this is your topic sentence which comes quite late== no need to make big introduction // it is a good idea to strat simply with the topic sentence
The rest is well planned but you ave got some problems with the language:
"creativity IS thought" "I strongly agree"// not I am agree== by the way no need to say this because your reader will know this is what you think== this is your paper at the end.

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Cemre Nur Duman Sec-41
02/16/2013 5:21am

Creativity is one of the most significant ability although the education system neglects its importance. In 2006 Sir Ken Robinson mentioned about the schools really kill creativity and he gives lots of example about this issue. Robinson says children would not be afraid of making mistakes however, the education system make them not to make mistake. This is because they have to learn mathematics and languages which make them ordinary in order to go to college. However, this education system does not give a chance to children to develop themselves in different ways such as art or music. To conclude, schools really kill creativity of children and this has to be stopped in order to create different ideas.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 1:42am

let your source serve you do not write just for or about the source== Ken Robinson's ideas are your sources to support your view point== you ar enot writing about his ideas you are simply trying to answer a very simple question=== the source is not the aim it is your tool.

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irem yetginbal-section 41
02/16/2013 9:19am

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iremyetginbal-section41
02/16/2013 9:21am

When children at very early ages are observed, it is very obviously seem that they are much more creative than adults. Why people cannot sustain their creativity during our life is a controversial issue. I think schools are the one of the major problems which blunts our creativity because in recent education system, children are not be guided according to their abilities. Every child is educated with same lessons like math, biology and history. Parents also think that they should learn these kinds of lessons and they have to have one of the major jobs like engineer, teacher and something like that. If one child is willing to be actor or artist, he/she cannot go to university for it because people who are in his/her environment will never satisfy. Therefore children who had to study lessons not relevant to the children’s ability or capacity get use to the situation and they lose the way of their thinking that is, creativity.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 1:46am

IT CAN BE SEEN /// IT SEEMS === be careful

This is going to be a better/ more convincing parg if you cite Ken Robinson== Always make sure you read the question and you give an answer

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Alperen Elihoş; Section 57
02/16/2013 10:16am

Every student has different talent and every different talent is required different education. Unfortunately in elementary school and high school all students take nearly the same education which is based on science. If a student is talented in art, he/she does not need to learn any scientific information. On the other hand this education system is not beneficial for other students who are talented in science because one of the aim of the education system is to create perfect people who do not make any mistake which is natural for human being. Ken Robinson says that “If you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original ... And by the time they get to be adults, most kids have lost that capacity.” ("Do Scholls Kill Creativity?"). For that reason every student loses their creativity and as a result all students become robots that have the same appearence and the same software.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 1:49am

every different talent REQUIRES different education

This is a good prg== but will be better if you start with a topic sentence that directly answers the question// and also if you can end your prg with a refernce to this claim

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Deniz Hazal Karabulut 21101758 sec.-41
02/16/2013 11:40am

There are lots of controversial issues about the education system. One of these issues the schools kill creativity .This opinion may be true; if we look at the following aspects people who have interest to art but they forcing to do mathematic problems or take other courses which are not irrelevant to art , have more tendency to be depressed. Creativity is influenced negatively when people in depressed. In this case, schools should avoid too much compulsory lessons and they should give more option to elective course. This practice may help to people find themselves. To conclude, schools should be more supporters to new ideas by giving different options about lessons to students.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 2:26am

Start with a topic sentence that directly answers the question. Make sure you answer the question fully. Your argument is weak since you do not support it with reference to Robinson's ideas.

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Oya Yılmaz Section-70
02/16/2013 2:21pm

All people have the capacity to be creative and creativity means innovation in life. However, the kids today are not creative because they are limiting by education systems all over the world. In his talk, Ken Robinson says "schools kill creativity." and adds “All kids have tremendous talents and we squander them pretty ruthlessly.” It should be known that creativity as important as mathematics but educators are not think like that. For example, we cannot see that music or art lessons in curriculum are not same amount with mathematics lessons. Actually, according to Robinson, arts are in the bottom but there is no such thing as everyone will do math. Some should use their creativity. Also, Robinson argues “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never came up with anything original.” The classical education system putting a pressure on our shoulders and we afraid of being wrong. Whereas, we will find the truth, to be creative by making mistakes. To conclude, like Ken Robinson says “schools kill creativity”, education system limits children and train individuals who has a fear about being wrong.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 2:29am

Well planned prg. // convincing enough but be careful== you are often making simple language mistakes

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Zeynep Dila Oral Section70
02/16/2013 2:40pm

“If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.” is the most important point in the video. Kids are afraid of being wrong and that prevent them to be creative. In primary school, students start to paint how others do such as yellow sun and blue cloud. However, it is not their blame. It is misdirection of teachers. Teachears should encourage them to paint how they feel such as smiling sun or red sun or other creative objects. Students should be taught being creative is important in education because it avoids that everyone thinks same. In course of time, kids loses their innative creativity because education system forces kids to look at the one side. Therefore, they transform into hammers which act same and looking at the same place does not solve the problems. In brief, education systems kill the creativity of kids and they are unified. This is a danger because the world develop thanks to different people.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 3:00am

Thisis a very good prg.== but there is just one big problem== the beginning// it is fine to start with the quote but then you should link it to your claim which is well defined in your conclusion.

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Ceren Demiröz Section 41
02/16/2013 2:42pm

There are lots of discussions through the process of education. Generally most of the people don't care that education kills creativity or not. They only think the grades of their children because they see working hard is a key of finding a good job, however the rest of the people don't think like this. Ken Robinson summarizes rest of the people's thought by giving an example about Picasso's speech. Picasso said that all children are born artists. This proposal is true because children don't afraid of doing wrong, they always observe, examine things and they are interested in painting, music, and maybe writing poems. While children doing these things, they don't limit themselves. For example, if class is allowed to draw only animals, but one of a student draws plants too , this will indicates us that, this student doesn't see nature only about animals. He/she tries to look life from different perspectives by using their creative mind. But school doesn't allow this. In many countries' education system art lessons are ignored, they only concentrate on math and science, that's why musicians and artists become unemployed. Others prevent themselves from being unemployed by submitting monotype, uncreative education system, so they become unhappy. Education system should be changed all over the world by harden between science and art lessons to raise peaceful and creative students.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 3:08am

Begin with a topic sentence otherwise you cannot limit the discussion if you do not set your limits with a topic sentence== the answer to the question

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Duygu Altınoluk Section 70
02/16/2013 4:43pm

Nowadays, societies have problems with adults who are without creativity because education that they received from anywhere in the world cause to kill creativity. Education systems always try to put people in mold, it produces people who have same skills, same desires from life. System wants from children to be an empty bag to put inside child things which what society needs but when the working time is came systems and societies want from people to be original and creative, this is a dilemma that confuse people and children about what to do because they are programmed to become impeccable, super workers. As Ken Robinson, in his talk "Schools Kill Creativity", asserts "If you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original".To fix the problem, people should change their approach to events cause hümanity needs creative, innonative minds to develop itself.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 3:29am

Although it might require some improvements it is a good prg with its organization and argumentation.

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Cansu Özkan 21101604 section 41
02/17/2013 1:23am

Today, creativity is the most important issue that effects our future. There are lots of controversy about creativity. Because education system prevents children to improve their skills and talents.So we can say schools kills creativity. Educators mainly interest in math, science etc.. Also some people think the lectures which are art,music is unnecessary for learning in schools. But children should be educated and encourged to advance their talents. Creativity has a big role not only on school days but also bussines life and social life.Everyone has a capacity for being a creative but the most important one is revealing this creativity.That's why schools and education system should be in this way otherwise children have an ordinary and casual skills like the other people. There won't be anything that different from others. So education system should encourge children to deal with their talents and improve their capacity.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 5:58am

effect == noun// affect == verb
lots of controversies
we do not use so/but/and == at the beginning of a sentence
educators are interested in
etc== not appropriate in formal writing
well organized// but argumenation is weak== support with a reference to Ken Robinson

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Elçin AKTAN Section 70
02/17/2013 2:32am

Everyone has a capable of being creative; especially, children have extraordinary capacities for innovation (Robinson). Since, they do not afraid of being wrong. However, after school life, every child has same knowledge and almost same capacity because education system kills their creativity. Since, schools educate them in order to be successful their algebra and literacy lessons. However, creativity is important as algebra or literacy. Another problem of education is that every education system has the same hierarchy of subjects (Robinson). For example, there is not any education system that teaches drama or dance every day, because everyone focuses children’s heads not their talents. Briefly, there are some reasons why schools kill children’s creativity such as ordering the importance of lessons and the hierarchy of subjects. It should be admitted that creativity as important as other lessons and curriculums should be reorganized by the government.

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Gamze Oncul
02/21/2013 6:14am

everyone is capable of or everyone has the capability
since/because used with clauses you cannot leave it like a full sentence
are not afraid of
as important as

Start with a topic sentence that answers the question so that you can keep your prg focused and make sure you can give the answer to the question set.

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Ezgi Erkan - Section 57
02/17/2013 4:36am

The education system expects same performance and grades from everyone; so the system tries to decrease differences. Actually the system kills creativity because, creativity means to be different, create the orijinal ones. While people receive education, they have to take obligatory lessons such as Turkish,Math even these lessons do not provide any beneficial information and skills for students. Therefore, they cannot improve their creativity due to lack of helpful skills and extra useless information. They cannot produce anything. For example, Sarah cannot draw the picture of the horse which she saw, homever when she was 6, she could draw a picture the heaven alhough she could not see the heaven. What changes? She could alocate time for her imaginatian in the past, but know, she focuses in homework and exam. Although, schools have painting, music, gym closses which can improve creativity, students usually do not attend it. Because teachers think that students should attend extra Math-Science study class to revise. Therefore education kills creativity.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:31am

Good but you should cite your source

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Çağla Deste Ekin Güner Sec-70
02/17/2013 5:11am

Schools are irreplacable institutions when it comes to transmit knowledge, yet creativity cannot be thought; one can only born with it. In this sense, Ken Robinson's suggestion about the fact that schools kill creativity, is actually reveals an important flaw of the education system. While children are recieving education, they are conditioned that learning too much is more important than doing things they are passionate about; things that they can use their creativity. “Many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they’re not — because the thing they were good at at school wasn’t valued, or was actually stigmatized.”, says Ken Robinson in his talk, indicating that schools do not encourage people to use their creativity. Instead they are tried to be fit into some stereotypes and expected to be successful at something they don't even like. Within a system which puts creativity to background, children are raised in a way that they become greater 'consumers' rather than 'producers'. In other words, they are 'educated out of creativity', as Ken Robinson states.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:35am

Good enough argumentation and organisation

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Zhasmin Valiyeva 21100237, sec.-41
02/17/2013 5:26am

Schools are such a system that, can shape students as a model of education system and generally they do not care about the abilities or interests of students, because in this system first and the most important aim is to make students be professors or well-educated people. I cannot sat that, it is completely wrong system or the aim of this system is unnecessary, but the failure is that, this system is not interested in the real creativeness of children. However, they must pat attention to the creativeness, because it is the same to be professor and to be artist. Unfortunately, as Ken Robinson says in his talk, all children have talents but education system smokes them and there is another unforgivable wrong in education system is that, mistakes are not acceptable, but if there is no mistake, it means there is no creativity, because without making a mistake, nobody can understand his/her ability. In conclusion, schools really kill creativity and ,in my opinion, the system must be changed as soon as possible or there must be more schools taking care of the talents of students.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:40am

Start with a topic sentence that gives an answer to the question
Don't say in my opinion
Argument is good

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CAN YALÇIN 21100863 SECTION 41
02/17/2013 5:31am

Many of educators are mainly focusing on different aims of education, but “creativity” should be most significant purpose of education. Because, in the general of the world, educational systems are only about the academic achievement, therefore educators can’t notice the creativity and talent of children. Because of the system, in schools, every child receives the same education. There is no separation between their intelligence types. This kills their talent and makes studens “monotype” . In his speech “Schools Kills Creativity”, Ken Robinson also argued about this issue. According to Robinson, systems are only focusing on “head”, therefore educators believes that, mathematic or other sciences are more important than the others. But actually, children have tremendous talent, unfortunately schools and the system kills the creativity. Finally, “creativity” is a very important part of education and educators should be focused more on this factor.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:43am

Give the answer in the beginning with a topic sentence. Ideas are good but you need to be more careful with the language and organisation

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Can AKGÜN - Section 70
02/17/2013 5:31am

Nowadays, in many countries education systems are posing an obstacle for the students' creativity due to the priorities in education methods that are formed on a memorizing basis.Schools are now teaching only the necessary informations and the essential patterns rather than providing a practise and research environment for students.Therefore, most of students lose their creativity and became indistinctive members in society. Ken Robinson emphasis on this topic by defining education systems as "industrialism" in his talk, so that it can easily understand that schools are producing students like objects which are far away from being creative and unique.Briefly, it is obvious that creativity is a crutial part that must be remained by giving the students a chance to search and practise in their education rather than memorizing.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:47am

Good enough organisation and argumentation. Be careful with the language.

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02/17/2013 5:52am

Creativity is the ability to produce new and unique ideas and look at things from different perpective without any restriction and pressure. Therefore, humanity can be reached the development of today’s World with the help of creative thinking. Creative thinking was tried to prevent in the past and it is tried to hinder today. We can easily see this situaiton in not only our education system but also other country’s education because our education system is so standardized and it established above the only pragmatic ideas. It only aims that meet qualified personnel needs of industrial World. It forgets connections between intellect and feeling. It neglect the imagination. It causes to lose value judgements like love, hope and ethic because this system neglects socio-cultural activites in cirriculum.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:49am

You don't answer the question. Focus and relevance is an issue. Be careful with the language.

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YASİN BULUT SECTION 41
02/17/2013 5:54am

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DOGUKAN OGUZ SERT - SECTION 70
02/17/2013 6:29am

Creativity is the source of all human progress. All humans born with their different capacity and creativity. It is found in every person as different aspects, but the creativity cannot flourish if it is not worked on it. If the person is scared to try and make mistakes or directed to a wrong way, the creativity cannot come about. In his speech "Schools Kill Creativity" Ken Robinson says creativity begins with accepting to make mistakes and not to be scared by it, but the educational system as it is now make children frightened by mistakes. He also says with the industiral developments children are canalized to most useful subjects for work. The result of these two approaches is educating people out of their creative capacities. These ideas, about the education system throughout the world, are mostly true as we can see the results. People, nowadays, who are making their choices about their career, mostly choose it by their popularity but not with according to their talents. Because the schools are not directing them for their talents. They are directing them by their parents' dictating, society's thinking and industrial needs'. By doing this maybe they are losing a future Shakespeare, Beethoven or a Picasso.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:57am

Ideas are good but the answer had better be given earlier in the first/topic sentence.

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Fatih Savaş 57
02/17/2013 8:41am

In the capitalist world, competitiveness is the most important thing to live in a good way. Therefore, education systems force children to be successful than others.
While the systems force children to be successful, they actually lose their creativity because they are forced to struggle with the same conditions such as, math and science. However, children may not have the same math and science skills. Picasso says that " All children are born artists" ( Robinson). However, we kill the creativity of children by forcing them actually they do not want to do. Additionally, children are frightened of making mistakes and this blocks children to come up with anything original according to Robinson.
In conclusion, children are affected by the systems that we use to make them more successful and good citizens. However, they are different from each other and it is meanless to enter an exam which is believed as having equal criterias because of the differences of everyone.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 8:58am

Ideas are good but they are not linked well. You should be careful about links and transitions.

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Seda Nazzal
02/17/2013 9:13am

First of all it is important to understand what creativity is and how it relates with school. Some scholars might disagree with Robinsons statement that school kills creativity, but if this statement is considered while looking at the school system than a person can really understand if it creates creativity or if it kills creativity. However, it is not always a right action to make a generalization that school kills creativity, because not all schools actually kill creativity. Some schools even encourage children to be more creative and active by the projects and tasks that are assigned to them by the teachers. But generally though without observing the different school systems it could be said that school can be a way to kill creativity. An important fact to add to this would be how Marx argues that capitalism kills creativity in both life and the work that people do. People no longer enjoy their job but it rather becomes this dehumanized and distorted way of working and which causes ailenation. And some schools take the creativity away by making it a boring daily task. So in conclusion it is very important as educators to pay attention to these details, because as educators the aim is not only educate the students, but the purpose should be educating and making them be creative.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:06am

Needs better planning. The topic sentence, points for discussion, supporting points, citations, transitions, when more carefully thought, will make the arguments clearer and stronger.

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Berksu Kısmet Section 57
02/17/2013 9:30am

Education is very important for people's life. In today's world education system is based on memorization. Schools and families are giving an importance to math, chemistry, physics ... All of the families want their childrens will be doctor, engineer or like this. However , it is impossible because different children have different talents. If people insist on this behavior, creativity will completely die.In video Ken Robinson gives an example about picasso and he says that "Picasso once said this -- he said that all children are born artists. The problem is to remain an artist as we grow up. I believe this passionately, that we don't grow into creativity, we grow out of it. Or rather, we get educated out if it." I totally agree with this. Today's education system kill children's creativity. Educators have to change this education system and have to give importance art and sport in education if they want to see new great poets,athletes,dancer,novelist in future.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:10am

Ideas are good but needs better planning. The topic sentence for instance should be at the beginning snd should answer the question. The ideas should be linked well so thst ideas flow. You can also neef a concluding remark.

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Lara Fidan- Section 70
02/17/2013 9:35am

In most countries, there are same education systems ,which are based on memorising and learning what system brings.These systems do not care interests of students and only forces them to be more successful in maths or science. However, it only reveals similar generations who are not content with their lives because all students cannot be capable of these subjects. Some of them are skillful in art. The key point of changing this manner is improving the creativity. In his speech "Schools Kill Creativity" Ken Robinson says "We do not grow up into creativity, we grow out of it. Or rather, we educated out of it."If people are educated to improve their creativity, they will be more satisfied with their lives. Therefore, creativity is the main issue of providing more content generations.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:25am

No need for an introduction simply give the answer to the question in a topic sentence. This will give the prg its purpose and the frame.

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Ece TABAKOGLU-Section 57
02/17/2013 10:03am

In today's world, schools are one of the most greatest enemy of creativity, since they have been offering the same education to all children; however, every child has different capacity and talent. Ken Robinson states that ''All kids have tremendous talents. And we squander them.'' (''Do Schools Kill Creativity?''). Lots of parents and children consider just some 'important lessons' such as maths and literature because of this education system. Arts and some other lessons which need creativity and talent for being successful have no value for them, because education system make all children the same person who know the same things, there is no creativity to be different.Therefore, schools have been killing creativity and it should be changed to discover the different talents of children to make the world different.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:32am

Good enough organisation. Ideas are good. Some minor problems with the language.

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İslam Yağmurbeg Akhan SEC 70
02/17/2013 10:28am

Main purpose of schools are providing good education for well developed humanity but the development process could prevent some aspects and traits of people like creativity.It is not a coincidence that lots of coincidence people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs didn’t have university degree.They are absolutely very creative people and caused revolutions in computer industry.They owe this success to their own creativity. In 2006, in a conference of ted ,Robinson talked about that all educations systems canalize people to educate generally maths and languages.However other lessons like dancing are important as much as mathematics. In Robinson’s speech, the story of a dancer is a good example. Becoming a dancer could provide earning money even being a millionaire so that being successful is the important issue. All people have many types of traits and education system has to be appropriate for their own traits and try to develop them by this way.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:51am

Good ideas and organisation.

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Utku UNAL-Section 70
02/17/2013 10:59am

Many people have a goal for future in education lives but does education exist for their aims ? According to Ken Robinson “They all came into being to meet the needs of industrialism. So the hierarchy is rooted on two ideas. Number one, that the most useful subjects for work are at the top ” (" Do Schools Kill Creativity?"). As he said education serves for industrialism goals not people’s. Math and physic are always most important than music and art. Parents never say that go and pursuit with music but they say that do no neglect math. Because they support that music and art are not gained Money or job. Thus, children are limited because of external factor and they cannot improve their creativity. Education system kills their creativity and causes one-sided thinking. If everybody think same thing only simplicity reigns over World. People cannot develop new solution ways. They cannot look from different perspective. Hence, new devices cannot be discovered or problems cannot be solved. People should be different from others. If they not. They will disappear.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:49am

You should always write to an imaginary reader who has no idea what you are writing about. If you take this to someone who doesn't know the question do you think he can understand what your purpose is.

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İlkay Karagedik-21101728- sec70
02/17/2013 11:29am

There are a lot of discussions about process of education. Ken Robinson describes a connection between education and creativity also it shows us main problems about this connection. He claims that people who are well-educated possess lack of creativity. For example, an untrained mind like a girl who draws a picture of god is more creative than her teacher because there is no limit in her mind. However, her teacher claims that nobody knows what god look like. That is just a limit which embeds in our minds. No one can imagine what god look like. Actually, this situation shows us such limitations exist in educated minds. Also, he talks about academic inflation. Degrees are not enough to find a job. People need to get MA or PhD and also they are not enough too. People should become different than others but they are already different in school. System makes them the same but at the same time it want them be different. As we saw in Pink Floyd, The Wall, Teachers shaped students on the same way which is created by the system wants. For instance, Teachers think that Gillian has a learning disorder but just she is not where she belongs to. To sum up, this video shed light on the main problems of process of education but this is not enough to solve them.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:28am

Sounds more like a summary. You should answer the question.

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Nazlı Hilal Kaya - Sect 70
02/17/2013 12:57pm

Why Schooling?
Schools exist for centuries and education given in these schools and its extensions out of the school are being discussed for the same long time. People who don't support existing education system are mostly the ones who think that schools kill the creativity. Schools do kill creativity since there is a hierarchy in the system misunderstanding of intelligence. Hierarchy forced by education system is leads society to think that mathematics are bigger than humanities or music and as a result of this children are shaped according to their abilities in maths. This causes schools to kill creativity because students are busy with their homeworks and their parents don't even let them to do what they want. The current education system create same type of people who are hammered in the way governments or bigger powers like industrialism wants. Intelligence is a word which is wrongly interpreted with the hierarchy in the education system. Children are intelligent if they are good at university entrance exam so children should give up all creative things they are interested in to be successful in university entrance exams as intelligent people. Intelligence is diverse, dynamic and distinct (Robinson 2006) that is why schooling leads misunderstanding of intelligence and kills creativity. In a nutshell, schools with the existing education system kills creativity because of hierarchy between majors and misunderstanding of intelligence.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:18am

This is good.

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Öncü Erge Morkoç
02/17/2013 1:01pm

In today's world, most of the countries' education system giving an institutionalized education. Which means that, education system has being tried to raising same type of individuals such as a factory that producting particular production. In that case, doubtless, generation which raised with institutionalized education will be a society that programmed for working lot. This kind of education obviously killing children's creativity. İt is only forcing the children to studying science and math for being successful and it is eliminating the alternative ways of happiness. As Ken Robinson mentioned that modern education system's main purpose is bringing children to chain of the economic system. İt is a kind of thievery that this system stealing from children's childhood. Many parents satisfying when their children studying his/her courses with very hard effort. They think that this education for sake of their children but they are not aware that education has being made their children to the machine day by day. İt doesn't mean that education is harmful. Education should give children's needs not economic system's. Every single child who takes education has a special talent such as singing, painting, making robots and etc. but education system is giving one typical interest. İn that case, while children trying to survive in their academic life they are missing, avoiding or forgetting their talents. Because of that education system should be changed as welcoming every individual's interests.

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gamze oncul
02/25/2013 12:24am

Ideas are good organisation is fine except that you need a concluding remark. But you need to be more careful about the grammar.

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Bilge CEYLAN-section:70
02/17/2013 1:05pm

One of the main purposes of education should be raising creative generations. However, schools limit children who have different talents as drama, dancing, art as Ken Robinson mentioned in "Schools Kill Creativity" in Ted Talk. Schools start to create walls to children in early ages and focus only one aim; university diploma. Though, today's world brings new problem;academic inflation which means people need to more than university degree. Otherwise, people have difficulty with finding a job. In addition to this, new world order focus left side of the brain because of the industrialism. Schools give more importance to mathematics and natural sciences than other subjects as art. In his talk, "At the top are mathematics and languages, then the humanities, and the bottom are the arts.Everywhere on earth, there is a hierarchy within the arts" (Robinson). Children who have different talents which can be dancing, drama or music, are forced to being successful in sciences.Then, If they fail, they are punished with low grades and unemployment. Therefore, schools kill creativity of children and raise pessimistic generation about the future.

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gamze oncul
02/23/2013 9:24am

Ideas are good. Overall it gives a sense of organization but links and transitions are usually weak due to wrong word choices.

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Ceren Okatan - Section 70
02/17/2013 1:57pm

Every student has unique features, but today's education systems simply disregard this and educate children in order to increase the participation to the labor force and to gain more national profit. Every step of educational systems, lectures, teaching methods etc, is to sustain social order and benefits. Education is generally seen as an investment for the future, but as Ken Robinson mentioned in his speech,nobody has a clue what the future will bring us. Curretn education teachs children how to be successful in such unpredictable future. Time is cahngin and because of this, children need to be taught how to make their own way to success. As children, people have different understanding to things happened around. Since they have no rigid rule, they are not afraid of making mistakes. Acceptance of failure is a way to creativity. Samuel Beckett says, "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." But adversely, in schools, making is one great sin. They made students walk in the same path and become identical. And for the business sector, graduation is not enough. They need alse master and PhD degrees. But the more people reach them, the less valuable they become. Eventually it causes "academic inflation" and people keep floating in the circle of life.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:22am

Ideas are good but the prg. has no sense of organisation and the language is careless.

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Türkan Esen
02/17/2013 2:00pm

In my opinion, everybody has a specific talent. However, when we go to school our talent are not discovered. It is because school courses does noy address every student's talent and we always get the same courses such as Maths, language, literature and so on. Naturally, when we fail in these courses our teachers and parents assume that we are unsuccessful person and so we cannot have a good occupation. but this is a incorrect conjective. If students can take lessons that is suitable their talent they can be successful in very diffrent areas.However most of schools give importance to social sicience and they underestimate other areas such as art. Therefore, in order to be successful in school courses students only focus on social science and they try to improve these cources. Because of these incorrect school system students omit their talents and so each and every day their creativity are killing

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 9:15am

Weak organisation weak arguments
The language is too personal. Never say "in my opinion"

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idris çetin
02/18/2013 11:25pm

The aim , in fact the most important one, of education should not be to make students memorise like in our country ,Turkey. It should be a big assistant of creating new creative individuals. Our own education system is deprived of this aim and even kill the creativity. Firstly, as it is seen like our lives, education should have, in fact must, have a satisfied aim. This aim must be to create new Einsteins, Pisagors, or Newtons. This , in a way, means that to help to help people find or invent new ideas, the creative ones. Sir Kenn Robinson says the schools kill the creativity around the world and it should not be like that they should help students to be creative. Here in his talk Robinsonmakes it clear that education's aim should to increase the creativity. To sum up, schools really kills the creativity of students in many ways.they are very far away from giving presents to the societies such as new creative science peaople.

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gamze oncul
02/21/2013 6:52am

Good enough organisation and argumentation

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